By Margo Sorenson

It began so quietly—with a “rolled R”—which right away snapped me back in time to my special childhood in Italy. The “rolled R”—such a treasure! Linguists claim if we grow up speaking other languages before age seven, when “phoneme contraction” kicks in, decreasing our ability to make sounds, pronunciation of those languages will sound much like that of a real native speaker. The rolled R was what I grew up with as a child, speaking Italian in Napoli and Bari in la bella Italia. So, when we hear a signal like a rolled R, it means that the speaker grew up speaking a language from birth—not only studying it in school. 

Where was it that I heard the rolled R that took me right back to my Italian childhood? You might think it could have been at one of our fun Italian Movie Nights with the Italian Club of Southern California, (grazie mille, Vicky Carabini, chair of Chapman University Italian Studies Council!) where we do hear a lot of rolled R’s. 😊 No—not there! It was at a regular weekly neighborhood coffee with some of our neighbors, and I was simply looking forward to hearing the latest news in the neighborhood and funny stories, most certainly not realizing I’d be given the precious gift of being able to revisit my childhood in Italy and the Italian language I try to still speak.

At the beginning of the coffee, one of the newcomers introduced herself, saying her last name, which sounded Italian, and rolled her R as she did so. I crossed my fingers for good luck, and, after the coffee, I asked her in Italian if she was Italian. Oh, my, her face lit up with a smile from ear to ear! After an exchange of backgrounds, liberally sprinkled with smiles and “Va bene così’s”, we agreed to chiacchierare once a month in Italian—I in order to be able to practice and renew my childhood memories, and she to speak her native Italian and relive her experiences—and to be very patient with my Italian!

We’re having so much fun, sharing our experiences about our growing up in Italy and the warm Italian culture—“Americans eat dinner so early and don’t understand why Italians eat so late,” and “There’s nothing so delicious as a mortadella sandwich” and “Cereal? There’s no breakfast cereal in Italy!” “You have to dress stylishly to go out to dinner—no sweatshirts!” It’s thoroughly enjoyable to hear her many stories, such as about her very Italian custom of cooking an Italian dinner for her grandson as a thank you when he comes to cut her grass—and her meals are so delicious that now his friends and his girlfriend invite themselves for dinner, as well! Yes, of course, they also help with the lawn. 😉 Naturally, being a good Italian nonna, she makes everything from scratch, her own pasta, the sauce, and she even grinds the meat for her own meatballs. She says cooking for friends and family brings her joy. For her birthday, she made herself jam tarts and brought us some as well, in typical Italian fashion, sharing with us her special celebration of buon compleanno. With her late husband, and with other family, she’s returned often to Italy. Her stories of family, of longtime friends, and of Italian meals are so heartwarming, filled with enthusiasm for the culture and history of la bella Italia, that they take me back to my childhood and my family’s own wonderful trips to Italy. It is precious to share laughter and memories together. As my friend Vicky Carabini says, “It’s a heritage of the heart.”

If you have the chance, please listen for the quiet little hints others may drop into a conversation because of pronunciations—or of references to Italy and its amazing culture. You may find yourself gifted with as special a friendship as I and my neighbor delight in sharing.